the most wonderful thing that's ever happened

I can’t sleep. I keep having dreams like this:

I run inside our house from being out in the sun, and I feel like I need a shower and I turn on the faucet and I step under the streams and it’s all over me and I’m really excited and I wash my hair with it and my knees are weak and I’m squirming in a puddle of thick filmy blood and it’s the most wonderful thing that’s ever happened.

Can vampires survive in the daylight? Everything I’ve read says they can’t. Except ‘Blade’, but he was only half. And he was a muscular black man. I’m a skinny white chick. Besides, I know that vampires don’t exist.
Psychopaths do, though.

I am rudderless at sea, just drifting where the waves will take me.
With my black sands cupped in my hands.
If I made coffee from my sand, how would the drink taste? Like cyanide? Sour milk? Flat cola?
If I made Adrian drink the coffee from my black sands, what would happen?
Would he become like me? Thrilled to see someone’s life spilling onto his hands?
Or would he puke his guts out, set fire to his tongue and scrape the enamel off his teeth?
Or would he start to bleed?